Atty Eve Interview: Writing the My Beautiful Suicide Series

For this month’s Author Spotlight post, I interviewed Atty Eve, the author of the dark and powerful My Beautiful Suicide series.

Was there anything that happened in your life that inspired this series? Anything you noticed going on in the world?
The original inspiration for this series was the first line of a letter I received from one of my favorite musicians. Decades ago I asked him about two songs he wrote, one for him, Steve Taylor, and the other for a new group he was producing, the Newsboys. Both songs talked about suicide and there were a lot of similarities between the two. He wrote back, “Suicide is selfish,” and then he continued with the history between the songs. That line stuck with me. Yes, it’s selfish in the eyes of those left behind, but when you’re at the point of pulling the trigger, all you want is for the pain to go away.

So I thought, how do you make suicide not selfish? The only way to do that is to become a victim.

How has writing about Cosette change your life?
She’s changed my life a great deal. It’s very hard to write about such a dark character without the darkness seeping into your life, especially when she’s a reflection.

Cosette calls all those who are with her and Chris their “family.” How would her family compare with Charles Manson’s family?
Cosette is desperate for a family that won’t reject her. Her father has left and her mom is too busy to pay attention, so when Cosette finally finds friends that will support her, she does everything she can to keep their loyalty, including telling them that what they are doing is saving children from pedophiles, not murdering people. I think that Manson was just as manipulative, but his motives were wrong. He might’ve gotten away with more had he changed his targets.

Compare/contrast Cozy to Dexter.
It wasn’t until after I wrote the series that someone told me to watch Dexter. I was too poor to pay for the premium channels back then, so Netflix helped me out. After watching the series, I think that Dexter and Cozy both have the same code of ethics. Although Dexter searched for someone to share his need for killing, Cozy actually found one. She actually found many in her “family,” but she had to create them. Dexter would’ve done whatever he could to protect an innocent from becoming a monster like he was.

Cosette says she can take up to five baths a day, and they can each last up to two hours. How can she find time to take out the pedophiles while spending so much time in the bath?
Hahahaha. . . so true. Actually, she traded her tub for a pit. She traded in her depression in the bath for the orgasmic high of killing in the pit. Of course, she still cleans up frequently, but her need has changed.

How has writing this series deepened your relationship with God?
Unfortunately, it pulled me away and then yanked me back. Like I said before, it’s hard to write about such darkness. I felt like I had to ignore the light to do so, but that’s where Cozy and I differ. I know better than to reject God over and over. He will eventually throw his hands up and leave you on your own. I never wanted to get to that part, but Cozy did. I felt such a vacuum that I knew I had to spend more time in prayer. I’m not 100% back, but at least I’m not lost. I don’t ever want to feel that empty again.

Child sex-trafficking and pedophilia is a huge part of this story. How hard was that for you to research and write about?
The sad part is I didn’t have to do any research. . . .

“Thrive” is my unofficial/official song, the one that got me through writing these dark books.

And “Mess of Me” is Cosette’s song.

When you wrote My Beautiful Suicide, the first book in this series, did you have the entire series planned out? Did you have all of the characters fully developed?
I wrote the whole series in about five months, so yes, all the characters were fully developed. The editing and fine-tuning are what has taken me so long.

Were any of the characters based on people you know?
Yes, many of them were. I won’t say who so as to not offend, embarrass, or cause harm to those people.

Cosette and her “family” are breaking the law, but they are doing so in such a way that had me rooting for them, especially for Cosette & Chris, not to get caught. Have you heard from many other fans who didn’t want her to get caught?
About 90% of my fans didn’t want her caught. The other ten wanted her caught so her family could be free and so that Maddie could have a life free of worry. Most of the fans loved what Cosette and Chris were doing, but they still had their moral compass pointed in the right direction.

The very last part of Stupid, Stupid Girl was especially hard for me to read, much less edit. How long did it take you to recover from writing that part of it?
After writing it the first time, I had to shelve the series for about a month to recover. I hated what happened and I mourned for the situation as a whole. When I came back to edit it, it was a bit easier, but I still hate how everything turned out. In all honesty, I could’ve fluffed the ending, but it wouldn’t’ve been true to the series.

What do you want people to learn from reading this series?
I don’t know, Since everyone sees things from their own reflection, it’s hard for me to say what image they should be focusing on.

Is this series more about a teenage serial killer or more about pedophilia and the horrible impact it can have on a child for the rest of their life?
To me, it’s more about the impact adults have in the lives of the children, from Cosette’s mom’s poor decisions to Chris’s uncle taking him under his wing to Shelby and Sierra’s parents’ views on pedophilia. All of it impacts children for good or for bad. It only takes two seconds to change a life forever.

Crime doesn’t pay. Would you say that is a theme of these books?
Children grow up. Beware, they grow up.

pages of a book, pexels

Amazon Links: 
My Beautiful Suicide
Controlling Cosette
How to Kill a Pedophile

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