I never imagined I would author a memoir. I dabbled in writing a little when I was younger, but I thought I wasn’t creative enough to ever publish a book. In fact, I am actually a mathematician. When I started writing Where Fault Lies, I didn’t expect it to take on the life that it has. After I went through a traumatic experience, I started writing to better understand what happened to me. When you have PTSD, your brain stops you from feeling all your emotions at once. But if you never let them out, you can continue to experience trauma symptoms for the rest of your life. Writing this book and facing the severity of what happened to me ensured that I relived the experience and let it out a little at a time.
When I began telling people about my memoir and sharing it with others, only then did I realize how much power there can be in storytelling. By opening myself up and being completely transparent, I was able to reach through my book to my audience and relate to them in a way that is much more difficult than in an hour-long conversation. People I do not know have cried for me over my experiences that I wrote about, and they have used it to better understand themselves. It isn’t a self-help book, but any memoir that deals with a subject people can relate to can and will help others.
Even more important than the lives of the famous are those of the ordinary. I believe there are people around us everywhere with extraordinary tales to tell. But many of them never do, probably because of the lack of an outlet or the fear being vulnerable can bring. I am here to testify that it can be done. If you have a story to tell, you need to tell it. Even if it’s excruciatingly difficult, even if you are not a writer, your story does have power, and it can move people.
One of the scary things about writing our own memoirs is the fear of being sued or hurting people’s feelings. On the latter, I have realized that people will be more supportive than you imagine. Even if you don’t paint your friends and family as perfect angels, your story is about you. So, as long as you are as open about your own faults as you are about theirs, the people in your life should be proud of what you’ve accomplished and your willingness to speak out.
Understand also that lawsuits are much less likely than you think. There are seven criteria a libel suit must make to win, and the one bringing the suit has the burden of proving each one. To protect yourself, all you have to remember is this: it isn’t defamation if it’s true. The truth will always protect you from a lawsuit. You don’t necessarily have to prove it’s true either. In a civil suit, it goes the other way: the one bringing the suit has to be able to prove that it isn’t.
The best decision I made once I decided to publish Where Fault Lies was hiring an editor, two editors to be exact. It was the largest investment I made in my work other than my time, but it was worth the effort ten-fold. Your primary editor should do so much more than just edit (that’s what your second editor is for). They will analyze your storyline, critique your character development, help you add details when needed, cut parts that are unnecessary, and so much more. It is easy to review our own work because we know what we mean, even if we don’t say it quite right. An editor will ensure that your words come across as you mean them to and provoke the emotional responses you are looking for.
Maybe the most unfamiliar part about writing a memoir is what you do after your book is done. How do you sell it? Self-publishing has come a long way in the last few years, and there are so many resources out there to help get you through the process. Just because a book is self-published doesn’t mean it is poorly published. The new wave of publishing focuses on professionally self-published work, which can produce an equally impressive product. The best piece of advice I can give when it comes to marketing is this: be an avid self-promoter. It’s important enough to leave at just that.
I’m not saying this is an easy process, or that everyone should write a book. Not only does it take commitment, but publishing a memoir also needs a story, one that you are willing to share, and one that others will want to read. There are extraordinary things happening around us everywhere. Only when we begin to honestly see people will we truly understand who we really are.
Carrie May Lucas is the author of her memoir, Where Fault Lies, and is currently working on a guide to professionally self-publishing memoirs for non-authors.
Recommended: Where Fault Lies – a Review
