Zombies Can Be Fun! – Guest Post by Stephen Helmes

So, you want to write about the zombie apocalypse, but you don’t want to travel down the same beaten path as the ones before you. How many times can you tell the same story and still keep readers on the edge of their seats? You can do it several times as long as you change the setting and hunt new characters for your story that will stand out and take the reader down a different path.

zombies, litreactor.com

zombies, litreactor.com

You want to be original but still keep the same zombie characteristics that the fans expect. Once you have your characters and destination figured out, you have to decide how they will survive these dangerous times that leave no room for error.

That’s why today I will be putting you through zombie apocalypse training. You will be put into a red alert situation that will strain your brain. Remember, be wise in your decisions but also be quick. If you take too long to consider your options, you too will become another member of the walking dead.

swords, pixabay

swords, pixabay

Weapons
We are going to start this off with one of the most important subjects: weapons.

“Why?” you ask.

I’m glad you asked that question. If it were to happen tonight or early tomorrow, I would hate for you to not be prepared. Your form of self-defense is truly one of the most important parts of survival.

Worst case scenario
Red Alert! You have just heard from the small radio sitting on the shelf about the emergency that has taken over your area. Who would have thought that this could actually happen?

You are inside a small square shed with a window on each wall so you can see outside in every direction. You look out one of those windows.

zombies, zonealarm.com

zombies, zonealarm.com

“Oh no! The zombies aren’t coming… They are already here! …and I haven’t even had my shower yet!”

There are at least twenty on the property already, and more are staggering up the street to join them! They have seen you through the window and are closing the gap between you and your only chance of escape!

Lucky for you, when you found this shed, you stumbled across a gold mine in the zombie apocalypse world. There are all kinds of weapons here you can take with you on your escape. Unlucky for you though, you can only carry two of them.

The numbers outside are growing rapidly. To stay and try to fight would be certain death! You have no choice but to attempt an escape in hopes of finding a more secure location, so think fast! Which two weapons will you take?

spray paint, gethdwallpapers.net

spray paint, gethdwallpapers.net

1. Handgun – 9mm – 30 rounds. (I know what you’re thinkin’, punk.)
2. Machete (Mrs. Vorhees would be proud!)
3. 12 gauge sawed-off pump shotgun with six shells, plus six more shells in the box. (Shop smart… Shop S-Mart)
4. Spray paint – permanently blind your zombies and fill their nostrils so they cannot smell you. (Plus it comes in an assortment of bright, pretty colors!)
5. Ax (Here’s Johnny!)
6. Chainsaw – fueled up and ready to buzz. (This works even better if you rev it while holding it over your head and dancing like Leatherface.)
7. SA-18 missile launcher (“I’ll be back.” And make sure you are wearing your dark glasses when you say that.)
8. Highest quality hunting knife (Be Rambo’s worst nightmare.)

zombie, pixabay

zombie, pixabay

So, what will it be? What will your characters use to survive? Be sure to think your answers through.

Note: To all children from the ages of eight to eighty – Remember, we all know that zombies aren’t really taking over; not yet anyway. So with that in mind, zombie apocalypse training is all in good fun… for now.

Recommended Articles:
A Vexation of Zombies
Chai, Zombies, and Some Wonderings – Guest Post by Elizabeth Massie
Legend Behind the Jack-o’-Lantern – Guest Post by Stephen Helmes
How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse – Guest Post by Daniel Greene

 

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