Stephanie Silberstein Interview – Religious Discrimination, Characters, and Faith

How did this author develop her characters? Is Winter’s Silence based on an event that happened in her life or in the life of someone she knows? Is there a sequel planned? And has this author ever faced religious discrimination?

Jewish children enjoying Chanukah, israelforever.org

Jewish children enjoying Chanukah, israelforever.org

On the back cover of your book, it says that grew up as the only Jewish child in your school district. Did you face religious discrimination from your schoolmates?
I never faced overt discrimination (nobody called me names or anything like that), but I was subject to unintentional discriminatory remarks. For example, when I was in sixth grade, I was talking with a group of kids about the differences between Chanukah and Christmas, and another child remarked, “You don’t believe in Jesus? You SHOULD, you know.”

There was one incident of overt discrimination as far as I recall, but it happened to my sister, not me. One day she came home from school crying that a child in her class told her that she was stupid because “Jewish people are stupid.” My parents wrote a note to the teacher and she talked with the child.

The back cover of your book also states that you work with children with disabilities. Is that how you learned so much about the way children with autism behave and how it affects those around them?
In part. I worked with autistic students and students who had other disabilities that resembled autism. I also have Asperger’s Syndrome which is an autistic spectrum disorder, though not nearly as severe as what most people think of when they hear the word “autism.”

How hard was it to write about such traumatic experiences through the eyes of a six-year-old little girl?
I found it fairly easy to get into Emily’s head. The biggest challenge was staying on-topic. My first draft was full of fantasies and thoughts that were vivid and interesting but were irrelevant to the plot. I also had to be careful to develop Emily as advanced for her age without making her unbelievably so, so that I could use some vocabulary and insight without destroying her six-year-old sense of innocence. The scene where her uncle smokes pot was probably the hardest scene to write because I knew a six-year-old who had not been exposed to pot before would have no idea what was going on, but I wanted to make sure the reader understood what was happening. Similarly, I had to underdevelop many of the other characters because Emily was too young to appreciate the subtleties of adult behavior, but I didn’t want them to become one dimensional.

Emily escapes what is going on around her through daydreaming. Did you daydream a lot of as a child?
I did. It was very common for my parents to call me back to Earth or stop telling me to stare into space. Some of Emily’s daydreams are based on daydreams I remember from my childhood.

Each of the characters is very well-developed. Did you have them developed before you wrote the story or did they develop as you wrote?
I had a basic idea of who the characters were before I began the story. I knew each character’s dramatic needs and motivations and how Emily felt about each of the other people in her life. Some things developed later—for example, Uncle Max’s alcohol and drug problems, Rebekah’s jealousy of his relationship with Emily, and the conflicting attitudes of her mother and father towards their son’s autism.

Winters SilenceIs Winter’s Silence based on something that happened in your life or in the life of someone you know?
The difficulties Emily faces in school because of her refusal to sing Christmas carols is based on my childhood experience. We had a concert every year that contained many Christmas songs and one Chanukah song. As a child, I was fearful of singing Christmas carols because I thought Jewish people weren’t supposed to ever speak the name “Jesus” or acknowledge that Christians believed in Jesus. In fourth grade, a teacher told me that it was disrespectful for me not to sing Christmas songs. That same year, my parents pulled us out of the holiday concert because my sister’s class was required to wear Santa Claus hats.

The autism storyline doesn’t come out of direct experience. Many of the parents I dealt with when I was teaching viewed their disabled children as totally incapable, but I did not deal directly with parents of newly-diagnosed children. I suppose some of my experiences came from the parents I worked with.

When I read a story of any length, I like for it to have a satisfying ending. Your ending was good, but not everything was settled. So much was left open. Are you planning a sequel?
Originally, Winter’s Silence was going to be longer and include Emily’s struggles with Passover/Easter as well. That didn’t fit the narrative structure as I wrote; I just liked the symbolism of eight days of Chanukah and eight days of Emily’s struggle too much. I kind of threw that idea out and forgot about it. However, several readers have been asking for a sequel so I may turn that into a second book at some point. Right now I’m working on a very different novel—a novel for LGBT teens that will be out in the late fall—so it will be at least a year or two before I can write a sequel to Winter’s Silence.

Religious discrimination against Jews is a major part of your story. Do you face discrimination today because of your religion? If so, how much and how often?
Living and working in the South, which is mainly Christian, has its challenges. Most stores do not sell Jewish foods, and there are no kosher restaurants. I ended up breaking up with a boyfriend who, among other things, made fun of my best friend and me because we sent back soup that had bacon in it in a restaurant.

None of that is discriminatory per se, but it is very frustrating and makes it difficult to practice Judaism. More discriminatory, though probably unintentional, are comments other teachers made when I was teaching. For example, a teacher asked me if I was planning on having an Easter egg hunt for my kids. When I told her I was not familiar with Easter egg hunts since I’m Jewish, she said that it was important the kids have one since they’re not Jewish and I shouldn’t force my religion on them. I also always have to request time off from any outside job for observation of Jewish holidays.

My best friend, who is the cover designer for Shades of Gay, has faced more discrimination than I have because she was raised Christian and some members of her family or former religious circles believe she is condemned for turning from Christianity to Judaism. I have not experienced this, although I have had colleagues express shock that I don’t go to church on Sundays. I also have experienced the reverse: Jewish people (particularly older generation Jews) who don’t associate with non-Jews and think I shouldn’t either.

When did you first realize that you were an author, that you had a great ability to write? How long have you been writing?
I have wanted to be a writer since I was six or seven, if not before. I wrote a “novel” in a composition store notebook after school when I was in first grade. The only thing I remember about it now is that it was about a parrot. I also wrote poems from an early age. As a child, I thought I would be a writer and teacher like Laura Ingalls Wilder. I flirted with the idea of other careers as a child (when I was nine I remember deciding I’d be a wildlife photographer instead and sell my photographs whenever I came back from exotic lands), and by high school, I became very interested in science and didn’t really think seriously of a writing career. Later on, I wanted to be a journalist, but I did not get accepted at the journalism school I wanted to go to so I let that idea go. After college, I kind of drifted around from office job to office job while trying to figure out what I wanted to. I didn’t seriously consider writing again until after I finished Winter’s Silence.

Does your belief in God affect every aspect of your life? How important is your faith to you?
My religious beliefs have changed somewhat since I wrote this book. I still believe in a higher power, but I combine my Jewish belief with reverence for nature and some mystical beliefs and practices. My spirituality is very important to me; I can’t imagine living without a belief in some sort of higher power, personally, and I am always exploring other religions to learn more. I don’t pray daily and haven’t found a temple to go to, but I do try to have a grateful and optimistic attitude.

Recommended Article: Winter’s Silence – a Review

Amazon Link:Winter’s Silence

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